Welcome to the Hospital. Labor, sport, and the city's heavier drills all land here. Light complaints wait at home. Real damage comes through that door.
The chart lists what we actually do—Icy Hot, clamps, kicks, press cabin, weighted hangs. Pharmacy issues the floor treatments. Examination means clothes off, hands and instruments where they need to be. No false modesty.
Examination
Multi-room intake walk: cameras, choices, and no easy exit if you try to retain clothing.
Start examinationPharmacy
Remedies and floor treatments from the chart—Icy Hot, pinch, hex-clearing kicks.
Visit the Academy
See the live subjects who endure student drills—and the trophies they helped win.
Visit the AcademyChart — conditions and cures
| Disease | Symptoms | Cure | |
|---|---|---|---|
 | Kick Swell | Balls red and puffy after kicks, hammers, or a bar round. Walk is careful; sitting stings. | Icy Hot thick on both balls—leave it on. Reapply often, about six times a day, until the swell drops. Do not wipe it off early. |
 | Pain Hex | Deep, stabbing crotch pain from leftover magic—can be sharp jabs, sticky burning, or both at once. Can drop a man in the street. Does not fade on its own. | Staff kick the balls at full power, fast, without a fixed count until every hex effect is broken. No other reliable cure is charted. Light or slow kicks do nothing. |
 | Itchy Nipples | Nipples itch constantly—cloth, air, and idle hands make it worse. | Steel clamps locked tight on both nipples for a timed sit. The squeeze kills the itch. No padding. Timer ends, clamps off—that is the cure. |
 | Shaft Drift | Erect cock lists left or right after heavy labor or a bad brace day. | Wire cock-brace worn like dental braces—often most of a year of timed daily sits before the shaft holds straight, then retainers for months after. The procedure is painful. Patients may use anesthetic; the brace still has to stay on the full schedule. |
 | Oversize Balls | Balls measure above the ring chart; walking and gear fit suffer. | Hospital ball press cabin: both balls locked in a hydraulic cup. Pressure climbs on a gauge to a set meter reading and stays there until the measure is back in range. |
 | Watery Load | Semen runs thin and watery; will not thicken after too many cheap finishes or cold work. | Weighted hang: a load rope from cock and balls, plates added on a slow clock until the session timer ends. |
 | Tube Burn | Burning piss and raw cock-hole after deep tube work or a rough rod insertion. | Cool sterile rinse, then a supervised short re-insertion with a thinner rod so the opening does not seize shut. |
 | Mud Shell | Dried mud caked on cock, balls, and gear from field work. | Brace on the handrail while staff knock the crust off with a short whip or leather paddle until skin shows, then a coarse salt-water rinse. Stubborn cases: short-whip again on the salted raw skin for volume. |
 | Stuck Hard | Cock will not go flaccid after an erection-curse, drug, or failed edge. | Hospital ball press cabin on both balls—pressure held until the cock softens. Key and timer stay with staff. |
 | Leak Urge | Constant need to piss; ruins shifts and rides. | Prescription rubber ring rolled tight to the base of the glans. Wear schedule is at least four timed blocks a day until the urge settles. |
 | Hive Sting | Raised stings on the cock or balls after a hive shift; hot to the touch. | High-voltage shock wand on every sting site—at least ten hits per sting, six full passes a day until the heat is gone. Medical training wands only; do not improvise with farm stock gear. |
 | Jet-Yank Hangover | Whole-body jolt ache after a takeoff-rope ball yank; difficult to stay upright after the designed snap. | Icy Hot bucket soak for the whole cock and balls. That is the charted treatment. |
 | Living-Anchor Strain | After bracing a warship cable on the cock-hawser attachment: shaking legs, raw base, ringing ears. | No good cure—you endure it. Chart advice is to continue light cable training for months until endurance rises enough that you stop complaining. It still hurts; you just carry it. |
 | Self-Pull Overload | Nipples purple and stretched after military self-nipple pull arm day; difficult to lower the arms. | Steel nipple clamps locked tight for a timed reset so the tissue seats back. No early release. |
 | Brig-Gym Penalty Stack | Stacked kicks, clamp-downs, and ring zaps from a failed squat set in the military gym. | Manual therapy course: heavy kneads, heavy squeezes, and sharp flicks on the balls across multiple sessions. Penalty stack continues between sessions—do not pause the stack while treatment runs. |